Saturday, May 12, 2012

Una Vida

I never thought I would know exactly how my life would unravel, but I think that I would have to say I am so thankful it is going the way it is going. I didn’t think I would be sitting on the southern coast of Spain writing a blog nor did I think I would ever leave it.

Well as all things, this too is comes to an end. The past 8 or 9 months, I mean really who is truly counting I’m too busy trying to overwhelm myself in the immensity of it all. I still don’t think it all has sunken in. I have learned to love myself in a new way, cried at the things that really pull my heart strings, opened my heart to friendships I never would have come by before this, learned different things about myself and how to handle things, but most importantly, I have laughed joyfully.  I could not be happier with myself, how gracious the Lord is with me, the opportunities I have been given, the relationships I have made and kept, and the chance to truly grow into a better person.

With that being said, Spain is somewhere where I grew-mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. The first time and the second time, and I hope the next time I come back (which God willing will be within the next year for a nice vacation). It has been and will always be held in a special place in my heart, which is how  it makes it a little easier for me to say adios for a little while…

I made a “big girl” decision last week all by myself. I was offered a Special Education teacher position at an elementary school in Texas. It just so happened to be the same school I student taught at and in the same city of my university. There is history and this history is good. I was also talking with another school in Houston, which is the city I grew up by and the city where my family still lives.  And to top it off, I was accepted to Andalucia (southern Spain) once more.  So, you could say I had some praying to do.
I had 2 interviews 2 weeks ago, for 2 different schools and in 2 different cities. I received a call back 2 days after my Monday interview.  Since I am in Spain, I could not be in my parent’s house to answer the call. So I called back not really knowing what to expect and fearing an offer would come up. I feared it, because I then knew I would be making a decision sooner than I had anticipated. The insecurities were setting in “I’m not old enough to have a real job”, “What am I going to say if they offer me a job?”, “Am I ready?”, “I havent gotten a peace from God…will I know when they say those words “We would like to recommend you for a position..”, etc. I just let everything sink in, and I just continued to hold out for my peace in something. A something I knew would be “right” for me, for my family, and for my career as a Special Education teacher.

Well, it wasn’t a fairy tale story, because lets face it. This is real life. I had called back maybe 4 times via skype trying to get a hold of my HR guy. I think its difficult with the time differences and our busy schedules, but finally we set up an appointment and I had those words said to me “we would like to recommend you for a position” and I was in shock.  Not shock that I froze and could not say a word, I was in “big girl” shock mode. I didn’t even know I had that in me! Haha I asked for time to think about the offer, and I received 24 hours. 

At the time, it felt like those single 24 hours were the “end all be all” of my life. I took the time to talk to people in my life who I valued intently for their advice and most importantly their prayers.  What I wanted more than anything was to make sure this was what God wanted. I trust that He has, is, and will continue to lead my life in a wonderful direction. So, I continued to think and pray. I took some time on my terrace overlooking my breathtaking view of the ocean and mountains as the sun was going down. I read my Word and journaled. As I look back at my journal entry, I see what I see myself doing and failing everytime. I was trying to control my decision for selfish reasons, and I put a wall up and was scared to hear what the Lord was telling me. Well after the Lord shows you an amazing pink/purple sky (which is my favorite…best ones are in Lubbock, Texas hands down), I let Him in. I read the next chapter in my devotional about humbling your heart  and letting Him be in control of my life, which led me to a great scripture in 2 Kings about a man who learned to humble his heart and he accepted the Lord into his life. The last verse said “Go in peace” as the man left the healer.

It hit me at that moment. This was good. This was God. And this is right for me, my family, and my career as a teacher. So, I said yes to God.

I didn’t say yes to anyone yet at that point, not even my daddy who I talked to before I went to bed. I’m not going to lie he did try to influence a US job over an overseas job a little bit, but he didn’t know what I was doing either at that point. I would have loved to talk to my mom, but she was at work when I called. So, it was harder but maybe it was the way it was suppose to be. I learned that I can make an important decision on my own with the Lord’s guidance, and that was the sweetest joy.

So, I said yes to the job. I will be a Special Education teacher for Lubbock ISD for the upcoming school year of 2012-2013.

People have asked questions like, “are you happy with that decision?” “are you sure you will still be at peace with it when you know your city in Spain?” “are you going to regret it?”

And I have told them…Yes, I’m happy. I have been lucky enough to live in Spain twice, not just once, and who gets to say that. Not many! And I won’t regret it, because there is nothing to regret. My passion for life is serving children with special needs. I’m ready to do that full force.

But there is something that won’t change and probably will never change….I will always travel. I am already brainstorming a Europe trip next summer!! You may think I’m crazy, but you only get one life, just one, so live it BIG and never stop doing what you truly love and makes you utterly happy.

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